My Return and Lies

I'm back after my very long leave of absence. I'm sorry if anyone's bothering to follow. I didn't exactly have access to my computer. Basically, the computer died and I couldn't charge it.
Today, I ask you, what do you consider a lie?
I only consider anything that's a blatant lie a lie. I manipulate truth or let others make assumptions or word my sentences slightly differently so that I'm not really lying. I will not blatantly lie, however. Some might find my way even more duplicitous than actual lying, but I can't exactly change the fact that people will believe what they want to believe.
I've read a dictionary definition that is different from mine, though, and I know that others might have the same definition. The definition is "to create a false or misleading impression".
I disagree with this. If you strictly believe in it and do not wish to read an argument against it, please skip the next paragraph. So, my argument is merely this: if that is the definition of a lie, then everyone on the face of this planet is a filthy, dirty, rotten, no good liar. Do you know why? Because everyone has something to hide. I have a friend who believes in that definition, yet she's always sad. She plasters on smiles and holds back tears and has told very little people. That's creating the false impression that everything is fine. I'm not about to tell her that she's a liar by her definition, of course, but by that definition she still lies. By that definition, everyone lies.
So what do you believe is a lie? I've argued my side and maybe you could rethink yours.

Change

I haven't been here for awhile and I don't have any real excuse beyond being lazy and having no inspiration. But I have inspiration now.
How do you deal with change?
It doesn't matter what change, just how you deal with it. Though some changes are better than others, whenever it's a big change, there's always going to be some kind of uncertainty. Well, sometimes. It really depends on your personality and the situation.
With me, I hate change. I know that change is healthy and that if there wasn't any change there'd be no such thing as butterflies, but there's a huge difference between knowing it in your head and feeling it in your heart.
I hate feeling out of control and I hate it when things change. Especially because the bad changes stand out the most. I can remember almost every single one of the huge and bad changes. It weighs me down sometimes. But I come back up. That's one of the benefits of my moods shifting quickly, I guess.
So I don't deal with change well. In fact, even with some good changes I haven't reacted well. I hate it that much.
But there are times when I desperately want change. Whenever a change happens, I wish fervently for something to change to make it all okay again. Or to make it change back. But it's always the things that you can't change that you want to change, isn't it.

Purple Giraffes and Orange

I haven't posted in awhile, I know. I wasn't really in the mood to write.
Also, if any jewelers are reading this, could you make a purple giraffe pendant (preferably crystalline) and post a picture online? Or find one? I just want to find a picture that's hopefully/preferably decent quality and larger than 200 pixels by 200 pixels. THANK YOU!!!!!
Anyways, today's question is, what do you think of when you think of the color orange? This is a random color I chose by pressing keys on my keyboard thing.
Personally, the first thing I think of are oranges. That's a little obvious, but no one's called me creative. ... Actually... people have, but only when it comes to story ideas!
Continuing, the second thing I think of when I think of the color orange is... actually, I'm drawing a blank. If it was purple or green or blue, I'd be a fountain of thought, but noooo, I had to pick orange.
WAIT! I've thought of something! Skin! The pale peachy orange of some skin!
And Orange Day at that camp in Iowa!
And... and... I'm done. Inspiration has died.
Maybe you guys will have more luck than me. I hope so. And it might tell you more about your personality or experiences. Or not, but I can't have an in depth question for you everyday, right?

Pheely and Lifespans

I get way too attached to the couples that I support from the shows/movies/books I get obsessed with. Right now it's Pheely from Phil of the Future. Five year old Phil is adorable! "You're pretty. I like you." Awwww.
Moving on, today's question is if you had a choice, when would you die?
I mean, suicidal people out there would probably choose "Right now" and those terrified of death would probably go with "Never". Personally, I don't really want to live, but I'm too scared to die. I'm a coward, plain and simple.
Think of every reason you might have to live and die and think. If you had the choice of your death in your hands, well, it's a huge responsibility. It's more complex and confusing then the two extremes, suicidal and scared of death, would think. Good luck.

A Smile's Worth

I should be eating dinner right now, but I'm typing this instead. Aren't I loyal?
Moving on, here's today's question: What is a smile worth?
It really depends on who's smiling, to be honest. If there was a traumatized little boy who wouldn't smile or speak, a single word or a single twitch of the lips would be worth a lot of time and effort and love. If it's your best friend, maybe it isn't worth as much because you see them smile all the time, but once their smiles are gone, you'd give a lot to have them with you again. If it's some sadistic creep who's smiling from the joy of causing pain to others, then that's not worth a ****. Sometimes, there's a person so smiley and sweet that smiles don't mean much from them, but they do have a smile for everyone.
It also depends on who's receiving the smile. If you're a neglected child that hasn't had much love, a caring smile might be all you need or want. If you're someone who's smothered to the point of suffocation, every smile might seem fake. If you're the sadistic creep (and I really hope no sadistic creeps are reading my blog), then smiles directed at you might cause you an urge to wipe them off the person's face. If you think you're worthless, you might not think that you deserve a smile.
What is a smile worth to you?

Talent

I'm watching/listening to a Victorious episode right now. Many people would stare at me in horror either because it's Nickolodeon or shallow in character, but I don't really care. I'm listening to the song "Favorite Foods" and trying to discern the harmony lines. I can't really hear a couple of the people, but I can make out a few.
Moving on to today's question, what are you good at?
It's very important to know what you're good at. Then you can weigh what you can do versus what you want to do. I'm good at math and grammar, but I love drawing and writing and dreaming. According to that, it feels like writing might be what I get into. Except I hate thinking about the future, but I'll have to eventually.
Also, you have to think to yourself "I am good at something." If you don't, you're not happy with yourself or you haven't tried enough. I have a friend who thinks she's not good at anything. She's a master at piano, she's very smart, she's hardworking, she's very loyal to her faith, and she makes sure that none of us (her friends) end up as mass murderers. But she has self esteem issues. I love her to pieces, but don't be like her. You'll only end up more broken than you have to be. No one on this Earth is without talent. Even if you say you only have talent at, say, shoplifting, that's not necessarily true. What makes you a good shoplifter (for example)? A light touch? Managing to be inconspicuous? Those skills can go to other things too. Spying, being a masseuse, things like that.
Now, I'm good at plenty of stuff, and I try to showcase my talent as much as possible. I don't like seeming flawed. Because of this, I sing and write and do math as much as possible.
I'm not saying be like me either. Sometimes, it's okay to seem flawed. It's not fun, but you learn things about yourself.
So I ask you again, what are you good at? I also ask you, what can you be good at?

Beautiful Seasons

My house is so hot right now. I checked the temperature about thirty minutes ago, and it said that it was 79 degrees! Ugh.
Onto today's question. Do you prefer summer or winter?
This is just a mundane, everyday question. I just say summer and winter because adding other seasons is sort of a cop out. This lets you focus on the extremes.
Personally, I think that winter is more beautiful. Whenever I think of winter, I think of branches dark from melted ice standing out in stark contrast against the light grey clouds and white snow. I think of those branches encrusted with hundreds of frost crystals that make the black of the wet bark sparkle. I think of deep red berries that should scream "Poison!" but just add color to the black and white. I think of evergreens with needles all shades of green. Dark, normal, and minty. I think of blue hidden under a thick layer of scratched up ice. I imagine girls dressed up in pastel blues and pinks and browns and whites while linking arms or dancing around or just seeing the clouds their breath makes in the air. I can see people chasing each other and skating and sledding  just to keep themselves warm.
I love winter because there's so much contrast and sharp details. I love how during the holiday season, I can just conjure a vision of golden bells and sugar cookies and little elves and pixies dancing around in the moonlight. Okay, so that last thing isn't as much holiday related, but can't you just picture it? A perfect circle of rich green grass in the middle of glittering white. This little clearing is surrounded by black and white trees. The moon is smiling down on the celebration below. Little pixies and fairies are fluttering around in circles, picking up the tiny elves and brownies and such that want a chance to fly.
Now, that's not to say that I dislike summer. Summer has its own beauty too. It's just not as mysterious or haunting.
When I think of summer, I think of dancing with my whole soul by a pool or at the beach to a dj at sunset. I think of yelping as icy cold water touches my toe that I just dipped in. I think of laughing as my friends attack me with water. I think of sighing in relief while lying down in the shade. I think of hundreds of towels laid out on light yellow sand like hundreds of colorful banners announcing to the world that summer is here. I think of chugging down glass after glass of pink lemonade and iced apple juice (I'm an apple juice person). I think of relaxation from school, sleeping as much as I want, spending as much time as I want outside versus inside. I think of so many summer camps to go to. Those outdoorsy kinds and the nerdy kinds. I think of vacations to visit relatives and old friends and just to see new things.
I hear the shrieking laughs of little kids running around. I hear the clang of an aluminum bat hitting a baseball. I hear the splash of water and that sound of sprinklers going off steadily just for the sake of running through them.
I taste ice cream and slushies and hot dogs and cotton candy. I taste carnaval and fair food.
I think of those tiny, colorful, plastic windmills whirling around in lawns and dandelion seeds taking to the air, carrying innocent childhood wishes on their fluffy heads. I can see thousands of balloons taking to the air and tasting the glories of flight. I imagine rain pouring down in sheets with red and yellow umbrellas twirling in their midst. I can hear the raindrops bouncing off of the cement of countless small town sidewalks. I can imagine teenagers laughing and finally letting go of insecurities while dancing around, getting soaked, in the rain.
So both summer and winter has its own brand of beauty. I hope that my descriptions make it difficult to choose. :)

My Return and Music

I was at a music camp in Iowa for this past week. It was a lot of fun and work. I nearly fell asleep at during the concerts. Oops.
Today's question is What music do you like to listen to?
The music one listens to can tell a person a bit about themselves. I like almost every song I hear. I've listened to and enjoyed everything from Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus to Linkin Park and Evanescence. I also like some classical music like Air on G String and I like instrumental music like Moonrise by Brian Crain. I like some jazz and rock, but I prefer the slower kinds. I love singing along to movies, musicals, and TV shows (again, a wide variety in those categories). Heavy metal and most techno has never sit well with me, but I do enjoy some.
Now what do you think that says about me? I'm not entirely sure. I think that it means I'm well rounded and a little bipolar (actually, I know that I'm bipolar to begin with, but the wide variety sort of reflects it, right?). So what do you think your musical tastes say about you?
For more music, you can go to rainymood.com. They have a new piece every day to listen to against the rain sound effects that are played on the site.

My Day and Rain

I was planning on doing these just once a week or once every two weeks, but I don't really have anything to do now that school's out. I hate school as much as most other kids, but now I have nothing to do. I have a bit of a sad life. I do see that there were some page views which makes me pleased though I haven't seen details yet.
Today's question is Do you like the rain? And why?
With me, it's kind of weird. I hate getting wet unless I'm swimming or taking a shower (sometimes I hate it even then), but once the rain is gone and over with, I miss it. I hate thunder and lightning because thunder is just plain too loud and lightning can kill. The book Bridge to Terebithia was inspired, I think, by the author's son's best friend dying by being struck by lightning at the beach.
Depressing things aside, my life has been going fairly nicely. My crush tried to kill me with a Nerf gun, but that's all normal, so all in all, a good day. I hope you had a good day, and if you didn't then I hope you got to find one good thing.

Newbie

So I'm new to this. No duh, seeing as this is my first post. I don't know if anyone will read this, and I don't care. I'm just here to write and to try to be heard. To wonder and to create.
Every post, I think I'll ask a question at the end. A question that might come with a story on my life. After all, this blog is titled My Life. Maybe I should change that, but oh well for now.
Almost all of the basics will be a lie. You'll have to guess which of them aren't. The basics are this: My name is April, the month of diamonds and rain. I'm a girl. I was born right after Valentine's Day. I am fifteen years old.
Now, if anyone's reading this, I have a question for you.
When was the last time you felt happy?
I'm being perfectly serious. Being happy is a relative thing. The things that can make you happy are the things that can make you sad. that's why I think it's harder to get over sadness and anger than joy. Isn't there a saying about how it's the people that love you who'll break your heart? It's true.
A personal example is that of a friend. She's my best friend. She's pretty much my sister. We've had baking accidents together, played together at a school's playground, and complained together. Whenever I go over to her house, we have a game where she claims that I'm a girl scout there to sell cookies. I always ask where the baked goods or coconut are in the house.
Now she's moving. She has a choice on whether to leave or go. She chose to leave. I understand her reasoning, but does that make it any less sad? No.
So I ask a different question this time. What was that thing that made you happy?
Was it your crush smiling at you? Was it getting the winning shot or goal or whatever in a game? Was it the thought of school finally being over? Was it seeing the flowers grow? Was it playing an innocent prank on a friend?
Keep ahold of that thing that made you happy. There are too many sad people in the world.